The Fortune Cookie Curse - Part 3

Sawyer opened a fortune cookie which contained bad luck after getting a chance to win in "Spin to win." After that, bad luck began to take its toll. She got wet, followed by black cats, got threatened by Elmyra, attacked by fans, got blown up and when she visited Danny Cat's house, got her tail stuck in the door, and his house fell to pieces. When she picked a fortune cookie, it said the same thing! Every method they try gets funnier when you read it. They a mysterious person (a.k.a. Darla Dimple) told them to go to the Acme Mega Multiplex which has the THUD Sound system. And now, Part 3...

After a left turn at Albuquerque, Danny, Sawyer, Tillie, Frances, Cranston, Harley, and Mike 3 made it to the 10,000 theater Acme Mega Multiplex.

Buster: Hi, Sawyer!

Sawyer: Hi, Buster.

Buster: I heard you are a contestant on Hyper Howard's game show. Is that true, Calamity?

Calamity held up a sign that said "That is a definite yes, Buster."

Sawyer: I just thought I would take in a flick this PM.

The nine of them went to the ticket booth and got 9 tickets for free.

Waiting in theater 1,765 in the projection booth was Darla Dimple.

Darla: Soon, I will have my revenge over those animals.

Nine people got in theater number 1,765 and they got front row seats.

Then a magic wand appeared and then it hit the ground. It created concussion waves that would cause a nuclear explosion. Hanging on to their seats were Danny, Sawyer, Tillie, Frances, Cranston, Buster, Harley, Calamity, and Mike 3.


Calamity held up a sign that said "The Acme Mega Multiplex has the 'THUD' sound system! It's a trap!"

All nine people hung on to their seats as long as they could, but they were losing their grip.


Danny: Darla Dimple?!

Darla: That's right! I knew that bad luck was a superstition so I brought it to life! (maniacal laugh)

Danny was sent flying out of the theater. Then, Calamity, Tillie, Cranston, Frances, Harley, Buster, and Mike 3. Only Sawyer was left now.

Darla: Now, it's your turn!

Darla brought the volume to its full loudness. The power of the obligatory audio assault from 'THUD' was so powerful that one by one by one, the chairs hit the wall. Finally, Sawyer lost her grip.



Her impact with the wall automatically destroyed the one thousand, seven-hundred-sixty-fifth theater. Finally, the audio assault was over. The words "THUD sound systems, A division of Lucasfilm Ltd. in association with Industrial Light and Magic" appeared on the screen followed by the trademark catchphrase "The audience is now deaf." Danny rose out of the theater's remains then turned around to confront the demonic Darla Dimple.

Danny(infuriated): You are an evil girl, Darla. How could you do such an evil thing?

Darla just grinned maliciously and made no reply. Then she left the building, literally. Then, eight more survivors crawled out of the rubble.

Sawyer: What's the use? Face it. I'll never get rid of bad luck now!

Buster: Come on. Let's go drown our sorrows.

Later, they went to Weenie Burger. Buster was at the counter ordering some food.

Buster: Nine weenie burgers with ketchup, mustard, pickles, tomatoes, lettuce, and super secret weenie sauce and giant weenie fries and Mega Weenie cola. And hold the onions.

Babs enters Weenie Burger.

Calamity held up a sign that said "We've exhausted all the methods that could get rid of bad luck."

Babs: Hi, Buster.

Buster: Hi, Babs.

Babs: What's wrong with Sawyer?

Danny: Sawyer has bad luck.

Buster: What? This is just terrible!

Danny: We tried every method we could think of, but she still has bad luck.

Suddenly, Buster Bunny gets an idea.

Sawyer (with mouth full): Get me another double order of giant weenie fries.

Buster: One fortune cookie.

Sawyer did a spit take then the "Clampett Corneal Catastrophe" then she returned to normal.

Sawyer: Are you INSANE! Not again! I feel like I'm in a bad rerun of "The Twilight Zone"!

Buster: But it's the only thing I could think of. There may be a good fortune in there.

When the fortune cookie came to their table, Sawyer knew that this was her only way out.

Sawyer broke the cookie and read her fortune.

Sawyer: Good luck and extreme fortune will fight off the virus that is called bad luck and it will protect you from bad luck and extreme misfortune. YAHOO! I don't have bad luck anymore!

Danny: That's just the beginning, Sawyer. "Spin to Win" will be on this Saturday morning. And they want "Ms. Lucky," i.e., you.

A few days later...

Announcer: And now, here is the host of "Spin to Win," HYPER HOWARD!

The audience cheered wildly.

Hyper: Thank you, everyone. You read about her in the news. You saw her in the theaters. This week's "Ms. Lucky," SAWYER CAT!

The curtains part to reveal a casually dressed Sawyer standing on a tall pillar next to a gigantic wheel. The audience didn't say anything.

Hyper: This feminine feline has brightened up all of our lives.

Audience: You can say that again.

Hyper: All she has to do is to spin the giant wheel. It if stops at "win," she will be the lucky owner of a brand new motorboat! Now Ms. Lucky, get ready to SPIN THAT WHEEL!

Sawyer spun that giant wheel and it spun very fast and it was slowing down. Then it finally landed on the "win" panel, much to Sawyer's excitement.

Sawyer: I won? I won! I won! I won! I won!

Hyper: Congratulations, Sawyer! The motorboat is all yours.

Sawyer: Thanks, Howard.

Hyper: That is all the time we have for now. See you next time on "Spin to Win"!


Sawyer: Danny, it feels great to be lucky again.

Danny: It sure is.

Sawyer: I now know that since I'm lucky again, things are going my way.

Mike 3: Bad news! Darla Dimple's house has been blown up!

Both cats: What?!

Mike 3: I think she read the same bad luck message you read, Sawyer.

Sawyer: Say, what did happen to Darla anyway?

Meanwhile, at what's left of Darla's house, Darla was under a heap of rubble.

Darla: I will make these animals pay for what they've done. Max? A little help here? Max? HELP! ANYBODY! MAX! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

The End

By Vaandr

"Sawyer", "Danny", "Cranston", "Darla", "Tillie", "Woolie", "Buster", and "Babs", are © Warner Bros.
All other characters are creations of the author.

This page was last modified on 11th July 1999

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