The story begins on a sunny afternoon in Hollywood where Danny is sitting under a tree in the Hollywood Park. He was playing a banjo singing a song with Michael the Third, Danny's close friend beside him.
Danny(singing):
"Sawyer, you're the cheese in my sandwich,
Sawyer, you're the I after C,
Sawyer, you the ketchup in my burger,
and Sawyer, you the feline for me-ow-wow-wow
Sawyer, you the feline for me.
Sawyer, you're the mustard on my hot dog,
Sawyer, you're the sugar on my tea,
Sawyer, you're the icing on my cheesecake,
and Sawyer, you the feline for me.
It was his secret song. No one else listened to it. Until...
???:Great song!
Danny: ?!
Danny noticed a familiar face.
Danny: Cranston?
Cranston: Is that a poem?
Danny: What are you doing in the park?
Cranston: Today is Saturday!
Danny: You were not supposed to hear this! It is my secret song!
Cranston: My apologies, Danny.
Danny: From now on, you are not supposed to tell anyone about my secret song. Don't utter even a single lyric in my song.
Cranston: Don't tell who?
Danny: Well...Tillie or Frances or Sawyer or T. J. or Darla Dimple...anyone.
Cranston: OK. I won't tell anyone.
Passing by Mammoth Corporate Headquarters, they heard a familiar voice. In pain.
Danny: It sounds like Woolie.
Mike 3: Looks like he is in danger!
Cranston: We gotta save him!
Heading for his trailer, they find a TV screen with a singing elephant?
Mike 3: I think it's a music video.
Enter Woolie.
Woolie: I made it myself!
Cranston: We thought you were dying!
Woolie: Come again?
Danny: What he meant was "We we're dying to hear your singing."
Cranston: Close enough.
Mike 3: Whatever made this possible? A. MTV? B. A music company? Or C. A music store?
Woolie: C. The one that just opened last week lets you record your own original songs! For free!
Mike 3: Did you hear that? This new store is also a recording studio! Why don't you try it out?
Danny: OK.
Afterwards, they go to the said music store "Video Goof" where it has 7 recording booths and a pickup counter, one where their videos are handed out. Meanwhile, Danny and Cranston were getting their costumes on. Danny came out as a cowboy while Cranston came out as a pirate.
Cranston: So, what song are you going to sing?
Danny: I don't know.
Cranston: How about your "Sawyer" song!
Danny was shocked when he realized that Sawyer was at recording booth number 4. Sawyer is here too!
Cranston(singing): Sawyer, you're the...OUCH!
Danny stomped on Cranston's foot.
Danny: What part of the word "secret" don't you understand?
Cranston: Isn't that Darla Dimple in an overcoat?
It was. She went to recording booth 5.
Danny: What song is she going to sing?
Cranston: I don't know.
Then the goat and feline went to recording booth number 3. It was the big moment.
Cranston: Remember, don't be nervous because when you get nervous you generate fear which will enable you to run away...
Danny: Cranston, I am already nervous.
Cranston: I am just encouraging you to sing. Remember, watch out for the hiccups. You do not want those hiccups. One time, my great-great-grandmother had the hiccups and...
Danny: Cranston (hiccup) don't say any- (hiccup) thing about the (hiccup) hiccups! You're (hiccup) giving (hiccup) me (hiccup) the (hiccup) the (hiccup) the (hiccup) the (hiccup) the (hiccup)
Cranston: The hiccups?
Then suddenly, the wall revolved and in its place were 10 spotlights, 5 on each side, a camera and a monitor. Danny found himself in a punishing predicament. The lights were on, the camera was rolling and Danny got the hiccups! He had so much stage fright that as he started strumming that banjo, he couldn't think of a single song to sing. That is, not one except...
Danny(singing and hiccuping simultaneously): "Sawyer, you're the (hiccup) in my sandwich,
Sawyer, you're the (hiccup) after (hiccup)...
One song later, a disgruntled Danny and Cranston walked to the pickup counter.
Danny(sarcastically): Now my hiccups are gone. By the way, I'm being sarcastic.
Cranston: The trouble with hiccups is that you do not get them when you want them.
Danny: Sawyer is coming. Don't tell her.
Sawyer: Don't tell me what?
Danny: ACH! I mean...Hello, Sawyer!
Sawyer: Hi, Danny.
Danny: So, how's it going this Saturday? New cartoon?
Sawyer: Not quite. Tillie is having an up-all-night party.
Danny: Well, that's great.
Pickup Lady: Cat, Danny. Is there a Cat, Danny here?
Danny: I'm Mr. Cat Dan...I'm Mr. Danny Cat.
Pickup Lady: Cat, Sawyer. Is there a Cat, Sawyer here?
Sawyer: I'm here.
Pickup Lady: Here are your tapes.
The pickup lady gave the two felines their tapes.
Danny: I see you recorded your own song.
Sawyer: So did I.
Danny: What is that song about?
Sawyer: I can't tell you. It's a secret.
Cranston: So is your secret...OUCH!
Danny stomped on Cranston's foot...again.
Danny: Well, see you tomorrow.
Sawyer: You too.
As soon as they left, Danny waited until Sawyer was out of earshot.
Danny: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, CRANSTON?!
Cranston: I apologize, Danny. If you want me to stomp your foot, just ask.
Mike 3: Ask what?
Mike 3 came in tree form.
Cranston: I was talking to Danny.
Danny: You nearly told her about my secret song. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Cranston: What are you going to do?
Danny: I am going to destroy that tape. Do you know where the nearest incinerator is?
Cranston: But we haven't watched it yet.
Danny: No one is going to watch this tape.
Cranston: Can't we watch it just once?
Danny: Why?
Cranston: Mike 3 and I are the only people who know about your secret song.
Danny: But...
Cranston: Trust me. After the video, we put it in the incinerator and watch it burn into ash.
Danny: Okay. But only once.
Meanwhile, Darla was finished with her song and waited at the counter.
Later, at Danny Cat's house, in the living room, Danny popped the tape into the VCR and watched the tape.
What the cat, goat, and angel didn't know was that the pickup lady was absentminded and they got the wrong tape. They saw the words Video Goof Presents written in red letters and then the song title written in blue letters.
Danny: "Killer Tofu"? Is that a new movie?
The setting is on the stage where the music for "Killer Tofu" begins. Sawyer appears from a tree and starts singing.
Sawyer(singing): Fast food feels fuzzy, and it's made from stuff that's scuzzy...
Danny was confused. Something was amiss.
Cranston: You look different.
Then, Danny realized that it was not his tape.
Danny: OH, NO! The pickup lady gave me Sawyer's tape by mistake!
Cranston: Then, that means...
Danny, Cranston, and Mike 3 could only say one thing.
Danny,Cranston, and Mike 3: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Vaandr
"Danny", "Cranston", and "Darla", and "Woolie" are © Warner Bros.
All other characters are creations of the author.
| This page was last modified on 26th September 1999 |